Montana

 

Intuition didn’t creep into my life. It wasn’t a word I got to learn or had the pleasure of someone explaining to me. Intuition grabbed my little heart by its valves and injected itself into my bloodstream like a cure. I was born from the most exquisite, strong, wildly kooky mamma that I have ever had the pleasure to meet. She redefined, reworked and threw the western term motherhood on its ass and said ‘thank you, Montana, for choosing me, what have I got to learn from you?’ I can’t recall a single moment when my mother told me how, when, what or who to do. She sat back and let me take the world in full swing. This was (is) intimidating and overwhelming at times, but it also embedded my nature with independence and confidence well beyond my understanding.

There was something completely and unapologetically ‘woman’ about never waiting for permission to explore my thoughts at such a young age. While some might fear this lead to rebellion, it did exactly the opposite. Moving from Fiji to a little country town in North Queensland, I shared my time with study, painting and involving myself in every extra-curricular activity under the sun. No one had ever told me no or that I wouldn’t be able to do something, so I just did it all (or tried to). This is something that would eventually run me down in years to come as I tried to understand what my true calling was (is).

I find myself changing from past to present so often throughout this explanation because I’d be lying if I said I understood the full power of intuition”

I find myself changing from past to present so often throughout this explanation because I’d be lying if I said I understood the full power of intuition, though I am grasping the journey I’m on and what it opens me up to. I have no doubts every time I set off seemingly unsupervised that my mamma was always keeping a mindful eye. But she was confident enough in the heart and soul that we both shared to be able to set me free and know that I would be okay. Everything would always be okay. Even when it isn’t. Just the way a baby bird leaves its nest and learns to fly, just the way a flower blooms, just the way the little squirrels save their nuts for the winter. I’ve recently turned 22 and am about to graduate university with a Bachelor of Civil and Environmental Engineering. I have ideas about what I’m going to do with it but no set plans, for the first time in my life. What I do know, however, is that intuition will guide me through both the smooth and bumpy paths that I’m meant to take.


Photography: Anne Carolien Kohler

Model & Words: Montana Lower